I went to college in Oklahoma, which is very, very far away from my home in upstate NY. My mother flew to Oklahoma with me and spent three days running around the city making sure I had everything I needed. Minifridge, blanket, lamps, all those wonderful dormy things. I was heartbroken and sick as a dog when she had to fly home, abandoning me in a strange city. To make up for her desertion, she sent me a care package right away. She sent juice boxes, gummy bears, and a jiffy pop.
I had never used a jiffy pop before. We had them when we went camping, but my mom was always the one to put them over the fire, and at home we had an air popper. One day during the first week of school I was hungry, so I decided to make myself the jiffy pop. We didn’t have a kitchen in our dorm. The only thing we had was a communal microwave. So I went into the common room and put the jiffy pop in the microwave. But the door wouldn’t close since the handle was too long. So being brilliant I bent the handle up out of the way, closed the door, and pressed the popcorn button. I ran back to my room to get my juice box, so proud of the snack I was making all by myself! Look at me being all grown up!
When I got back to the common room, tragedy had struck. Tiny bolts of lightning were destroying my popcorn! It looked like Zeus’s revenge on the mini children of the corn. The cardboard top caught fire and the microwave started to burn. I pressed the stop/clear button, but the damage had been done. My snack was smoldering, and the microwave had been destroyed. I had to go to my terrifying RA and admit that I had ruined the microwave. She explained to me in a tone that made it very clear that I was a stupid freshman that aluminum cannot in fact be microwaved. Oops.
I hid in my dorm room as everyone on my floor complained about the smell of burning popcorn and plastic. The dorm bought a new microwave, but I never tried to microwave another jiffy pop. I had learned my lesson, grown up, and moved onto bigger and better kitchen fires.
To be continued in future posts.