I hate spoilers. I often even say “Spoilers” in my best River Song impersonation from Doctor Who. If I say I am in the middle of a book and you tell me “Oh, just wait until Jack Butterbutt dies. That’s when it gets really good,” you are in fact risking your life. (more…)
I Hate Spoilers: Your Friendly Wednesday Morning Rant December 4, 2013
Breaking Bad: Kitten Style December 3, 2013
I’ve lived some pretty sketchy places. Most people would probably say, “Of course you have. You lived in the Bronx.” But honestly, the Bronx wasn’t bad at all. I always felt safe there. The only place I have ever lived that I really thought smelled a little murdery on a daily basis was my apartment in Oklahoma City senior year of college. (more…)
The Bus to Bentleyville November 30, 2013
As an actor, you miss a lot of holidays. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Passover, whatever you celebrate, you don’t always get to be with family. You miss birthdays, weddings, and funerals. It’s hard on you and on your muggle(non-actor) family. But sometimes the stars align and wonderful things find you on the road. The world gives you your own special Christmas miracle to prove that Christmas can happen anywhere. Even on a bus.
Last year, my husband and I spent a long time living on a bus working with the Fiddler on the Roof National Tour. (more…)
How to Lose a Job in One Tray November 27, 2013
On my list of the top ten ways to get yourself fired as an actor, there are some things that you would expect. Showing up to work drunk or high is a good way to get the axe. Telling another actor what to do will get you the sack pretty darn quick. But the only time I’ve come close to getting fired at intermission was the time I almost killed an audience member. (more…)
Driving Lessons November 25, 2013
For my sixteenth birthday my mother gave me a bumper sticker that read “Clear the road! I’m Sixteen!” and took me to get my learner’s permit. I was so excited to drive! Until I got to the actual driving part. That was terrifying and ended in fights and tears every time. I was too afraid to merge. I would almost get us all killed. My mother would yell. It was a vicious cycle. So, I stopped trying to drive.
I went to college in Oklahoma and couldn’t use my out-of-state permit, so even though some of my friends and my boyfriend all wanted to teach me to drive, they couldn’t. I was secretly thrilled. If my own mother wanted to kill me when I drove her car, what would my friends do?
I left Oklahoma without driving. I went to Rhode Island and worked at Astors Beechwood Mansion. They had a Model A Ford kit car that people could drive around town advertising the living history. Even this very old-school convertible could not tempt me to learn how to drive.
But finally, my sweet fiancé got food poisoning. Horrible, nasty, three-day-long food poisoning. And I couldn’t drive to the store to buy him ginger ale. That was the kick in the pants I needed. We got me a new permit for the state we were currently working in, and my fiancé taught me how to drive. I think it proves we were meant to be together that we were planning a wedding, he was teaching me to drive, and we were working twelve hours a day, six days a week, and still managed to make it to the altar.
At twenty-three, I finally got my license just about two weeks before my wedding. I then knocked the side mirror off the car, but hey, we all have to start somewhere, right?
For my lovely followers: I have decreed that Monday blog posts shall now go up in the evening instead of in the morning. Nobody likes Monday mornings anyway.
Welcome to the White Room November 23, 2013
Anyone who has spent time on stage will tell you that things go wrong. Sometimes a set piece breaks, sometimes you lose your wig, and occasionally you end up topless. It happens. A lot of times, there is no one to blame. It’s just the theatre gods having a bit of fun at the actors’ expense. Sometimes, it is the actor’s fault. I can hear stage managers and techs the world over screaming, “I told you so!” but it’s true. Actors are not perfect. We break the set, we break character, heck, we even break ourselves. And there is no one to blame but us. (more…)
Not Quite Katniss November 20, 2013
As we all head to the theatres to see the latest installment of the struggles of Katniss Everdeen this week, I can’t help but wonder how many little girls all over the country are strapping on their bows and arrows, desperate to be more like the Girl on Fire. I have no need to learn to shoot to be more like Katniss. Though I have never been hunting, and the only wild animal I have ever killed was the accidental death of a humming bird, which I deeply regret, I do know how to use a bow and arrow. (more…)